I simply had no idea what I was going to do next…..
No surprise now, that inner voice a week later quietly gave me a name, and that name was Tamborine Mountain. So my search began. There was very little up there and when a place did come up they were going quickly, sometimes before they even reached the market I was told. The rentals had also sky rocketed, as had everywhere. Anyway I went and looked at a place that felt right, I put an application in as did 50 other people. I didn’t get this one and became quite flat as I wondered why I was being guided up there to go through the process if I wasn’t going to get it. Trust was a difficult state to stay in at this time due to everything I was experiencing. Looking back now, so many of these intuitive processes were before me to strengthen my trust going forward.
I feel strongly here, to make mention of my disgust at the treatment and attitudes of the Real Estate Agents that I was coming in contact with, towards the many people that were desperately looking for housing. I had not been in the rental market since my early 20’s and to see the total disrespect and disregard shown to another was disheartening to say the least. They were so focused on getting top dollar that nothing else or one mattered, many times bypassing the people here and renting to investors from other states for top dollar unseen. Greed at its highest form. People have long memories and the market goes through its own cycle, this gave me a certain peace of mind at the time.
I continued looking, following my inner guidance, to another couple of dead ends before getting a strong feeling to look at realestate.com when I arrived home from looking at yet another ‘dead end’ property. I did, and there was this lovely place that had just gone up an hour before. It looked perfect. I rang my friend that came with me last time to have a look at it as I was excited and she said, “don’t you recognize it”, it was the one that had just sold beside the property I didn’t get and I had stopped and admired on my way out and said how perfect this one would be for me.
I went up there, along with around 100 other viewers, put an application in and was approved 3 days later. It was to be my “tree house” for the next 4 months. It was smaller and cheaper and perfect. Phew! Trust, Trust, Trust! All in divine timing, right.
Settlement happened with no mishaps and I moved up there the beginning of November for my 4 month lease and what unfolded was one synchronicity after another. Connecting with like minded people, groups and even a couple of people that were to be instrumental in what was to come in a very short time.
Not that I new at the time of what was to come…..
Writing these words down now, in some way seems a distant memory. It probably is really. Even I am blown away at the enormity of what I actually overcame in 2021. It was a constant stream of hurdles I was being called to overcome. I felt raw, alone and at times suicidal. Not from depression but more from the sheer overwhelm of it all and the inability to know how to live in a world that now, I felt so much further removed from than ever before. It just felt like an unimaginable feat to try and overcome. It felt pointless. I had know idea how to navigate the path I found myself on. At times I had amazing strength and focus and at other times I was questioning my reality and sanity. I mean I really felt like I had or was going mad ! I did continue to function though, certainly not healthily, but function I did. Suppressing my many emotions, my fears and doubts, as I continued to lean on my old crutch to get me through.
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