Lost within my world
REMEBER WHO I AM, I AM MY OWN GURU….
(23/7/22) I have been struggling with feelings of despair and disconnect. At times extreme. I’m really trying to refocus these moments to positive thoughts and come from a place of love and gratitude as I know how fortunate I truly am. However, I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. No where to go and feelings of not wanting to be here anymore. No idea what to do or how to do it. I can’t end it because I’d only have to come back and do it all again with more intense lessons to learn.
I can’t go back to what was, and undo what I know and have been shown and it certainly no longer resonates with me in any way shape or form. I’m not there yet, where ever that it is or even means. I’m not the person I was and I don’t know who I am. I don’t feel like I’m contributing. I’m still on planet earth so I still need to support myself. I can’t buy anything at this time. I don’t know what I want to do. I seem to have moved further away from any idea.
I love learning about the truth of who we truly are and where it is we may have come from, from what I can discern is truth from my 3D perspective. At any rate I want peace, freedom and love. I want to live in harmony and be surrounded by like-minded people and the beauty that is.
To be able to do this journey at times without fear, doubt and confusion, I feel is near impossible. Despite all I do, I feel really alone physically. No emotional and physical contact, no one to discuss and bounce ideas off and to share this incredibly challenging journey is taking its toll. Not knowing what to do next, where my income is coming from, is taking a toll. Not knowing who I am and where I belong is taking a toll. VICTIMHOOD in all its glory, right here!
If truth be told I am really struggling to stay here, but knowing it is not an option to leave, is mental torment. Help me please as I really don’t understand my purpose of living. I am so over this solo journey and my inability to connect with those I meet. I’m beginning to believe there is something wrong with me! And if that is the case, what has been the purpose thus far and has it really been expansion and growth or a total ‘mind fuck’.
I am so lost. I feel like an empty shell existing in nothingness!!!!
MANTRA – I am living a rich and simple life filled with unconditional love and joy. My life is internally and externally bathed in all the beauty and richness that heaven on earth has to offer. I AM in my power, my sovereignty, the my power is within.
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